Compassion is the key. That's the number one benefit I received while working here before. Learning to be compassionate to all. If you can do that, you can lead a more peaceful life. Less judging. Less wasting energy on having negative thoughts about people. When people are bad off, especially, a little compassion can go a long way with them and in turn, make you feel like you have made a difference in someone's life. Sometimes all it takes is being polite and respectful -- a kind word or two, or, you can really focus on bringing them some relief for the problems they complain about. We all need to challenge ourselves, address what makes us feel uncomfortable, and to do good by helping others, no matter who they are.
Sometimes I run into former clients from here, out and about, working, walking, waiting for a bus, at a bar... One former client from here is a union employee, lives with his partner and earns a respectable living when there is work. I have worked on him several times and he is generous. I even see him at various events around town. I knew him actually from before working here. One day I was called to his then-girlfriend's apartment to massage her sister as a present. My child was very young and I brought him and they watched him. It was quite unusual but very natural and friendly.
One guy I see from time to time works for one of the better caterers in town. You would never know his condition by looking at him. He seems perfectly healthy. One night, my child and I were at a function and another child hit my child in the face with something hard causing the nose to swell. I had already been conversing with the former client earlier in the evening and told him about it. In the midst of running around doing his job, he got a cloth napkin, filled it with ice and brought it to me. It made me feel that I had done right by him before, and that we had mutual respect away from a place that he goes to seek treatment. It was professional, civil, and bove all, warm, friendly and caring. But this time, he was caring for me, and more importantly, my child.
Here's a nice guy who I remember from before. He's deteriorated somewhat. Uses a walker and that's stressful in and of itself on the body. Has a partner who is very familiar with the music scene in town. I asked if his partner would be coming in for a massage -- I used to work on him too years ago. He said he didn't know. I found that amusing. Every couple is different. Every relationship between two people is unique.
I saw them not that long ago one night I was playing with a Big Band but could not remember why i recognized them. That has happened from time to time since the last time I worked here. He reminded me of that. I vaguely did. I asked him if he said hello and replied that I seemed busy or was about to go play.
Unfortunately for him, what with his condition combined with his current state, he is very tense. But he remains good-natured about it. Like many people, actually, he doesn't let got very easily. I worked hard and extensively on him. He felt much better after.
Massage #11
Ahh, here is my first transsexual of this cycle. I remember her from before. I worked on her once or twice. Yes, I admit it, it is a challenge. I feel uncomfortable and question myself why. I can't say. I don't know why. The transsexuals I have worked on are very womanly. They are not usually attractive. Probably did not have the money to do the all the surgery they needed to look good. How do you make a man look like an attractive woman? In this case, my client has aged considerably in four years, physically, so it seems, though emotionally, her spirit is rather buoyed, positive and energetic, but stressed. She tells me all about her life. Years as an entertainer, bartender, etc...says that she was famous, at least locally, in the clubs. Now, she's into karaoke. The Beatles, especially. And Freddy Fender.
Massage #12
Here is a guy that breaks your heart. He is not doing well. He's a very intelligent guy who never finished college. Was an architecture student locally and had a mishap with his accumulated work when it came time for his senior course requiring it. Instead of spending the time to re-create all of his project work from teh previous three years, in consideration of the fact that he was recently diagnosed with AIDS, he decided to quit college. He has liver and kidney failure, is on dialysis. But he still manages to get around and is a non-resident.
Every little bit of compassion and goodness helps a person like this. Life itself is a struggle for him. Yet, he is grateful and appreciative. He is able to discern the therapeutic qualities of anything I attempt for his relief. And he's right.
He used to live with another client here. But they haven't been together for several years. And he hasn't experienced another human being touching him in any sort of affectionate or therapeutic way since then, or since we discontinued massages here four years ago. He is so intelligent that he has the ability to articulate that very basic concept of human or animal survival. Babies can't survive with some nurturing. How do adults do it?
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