day 9

Last night I was helping out at the door of a benefit for this AIDS organization at which I am doing the 100 massages. We were asking for a five dollar cover charge which was being given totally to this organization, not the bar nor the musicians. So one regular patron of this establishment approaches the door -- he's a sort of rough-looking character, muscular, rugged, weathered skin on his hands, arms, neck and face and fumbles for his five dollars at which point I inform him that the money is going to this AIDS organization whereupon he starts to spout some anti-gay, homophobic remarks such as "oh my god, this is for a bunch of fucking faggots?" I happened to mention to him that not all people with AIDS are gay. He sort of mumbled, paid his money and went in. He wasn't the only one to exhibit a nasty attitude toward this cause. 

It's true, by and large, there is a disproportionate amount of gay men affected with AIDS than other groups of our society. But it is still interesting to see the array of people, color of their skin, ethnicities, backgrounds who are members of this group. It could be a white female doctor who accidentally stuck herself with a needle after giving a shot to an AIDS patient, or it could be a famous basketball star too. Intravenous drug use accounts for a significant amount of virus transmission and subsequent infection. In other words, injecting drugs is a pretty good way to contract the disease. It takes the idea of getting high to a whole new level and perhaps demonstrates the true destructive power of drugs, enough to have you risk your life for a temporary physiological effect.

Massage #25

We're a quarter of the way through this deal. 75 more massages to go. I wonder what else I shall learn. 

This is an older African American man from a small town in Mississippi but grew up in New Orleans. Once I told him my name, he immediately addressed me in a more familiar way adding a y to it. It made me chuckle. Nice old black guy. 

His first and middle names consisted of only initials. Don't you love that? I mean, I'm from New York and lived in the city for many years. Just initials. No names behind them. Same thing for his father, uncle, and grandfather. He explained to me that in rural Mississippi, that practice was customary. 

This man has twenty-two children from four different women, two wives and two girlfriends, or as he referred to them as "outside women" meaning I suppose outside his marriage at the time. 

The massage was uneventful. He did not speak much more but rather I feel, was very present. I asked him at one point how the pressure felt and he responded: "I'll let you know if I have any complaints, I'm just listening to the music." So he was actually in the zone, that perhaps I should have been in. 

This is similar to meditation, and a state that I try to be in while massaging. The massage therapist's calm energy can easily be transferred to he client. I try to remind my clients to focus on their breath during the massage and every time I do that, I am reminding myself to do the same, which has a very calming effect on both of us. My calm energy is also one of strength, mentally and physically, while the client's calm energy is one of clearing the mind and relaxing. 

So this old guy showed me. Everybody is a teacher at any given moment, if you allow it to be. I am grateful. 

Massage #26

As I was saying, people of all different backgrounds have AIDS. My second client today is a white man. Very good shape. No noticeable signs of the condition or any sickness. Uses his body a lot doing maintenance at a local church. 

Some interesting tatoos: a cross with wings that he characterized as an angel. I sometimes ask where a tatoo is from really only to see where it leads. This time, it was more interesting as the client told me the tatoo was made by a tatoo artist in Hollywood, California who in his tatoo design book also had a tatoo that he did on Kelly Ripa, the Kelly Ripa of Regis fame, "back when she was still doing soap operas." What a little precious factoid of our wonderful pop culture - right here, lying on a massage table at a local AIDS organization. He said Kelly's tatoo is a small butterfly on her ankle. I promised to look for it on television next time. 

He started pretty tense but later relaxed. Relaxing during a massage is largely a point of trust. If you lift someone's arm or foot, they might tighten up not knowing if you will drop it. Others completely surrender themselves and still a small number fall asleep, those I term massage experts. Total relaxation. Some refer to it as the highest compliment to a massage therapist. At the end, he was smiling. 

Massage #27

Another example of neuropathy from the third client and ethnicity of the day: hispanic male. So today we had a white male, not sure of his sexual preference, an older straight black male and a gay hispanic male. 

Yet another description of a neuropathy symptom to add to the list:  a "bee sting feel and burning sensation" in the feet. He asked me to be sensitive with his feet. He says that his feet hurt if he walks much or stands for too long (an hour). He does not exercise and also has diabetes. 

Two days a week he visits with seniors. His fone rang three to four times during the massage, each time a different ring. His tatoos were of his sister's names; a naked girl -- the kind that people used to hang from their rear-view mirrors; and a ribbon and rose that was faded, perhaps there was a cross in it. i did not ask about it. He was not too talkative so I respected that. We stretched a fair amount -- he lifts his father up -- who has had two legs amputated due to diabetes.