But I find myself now wanting to ask more questions. It didn't start out this way. Not when I began massaging six years ago nor when I first worked here five years ago, for about one year. The stories simply began. Some were disturbing as I may have already related. Boundaries are not very big here. And of course, there are those who are more private about their personal lives than others. Some seek compassion and understanding because they are suffering emotionally and mentally. Others who seem to be suffering physically may or may not reveal anything. It all depends.
So some days, I see, as I reread my notes, I have been more attentive to recording things they tell me or I ask. As this continues, I am asking more. But I see that some days I have either not asked much or documented much. I do not want the work to suffer for the sake of the stories. But as I observe the effects of simply trying to bring any relief to these people, the effects are beneficial, and they are grateful. There's still a fine line between seeking the story versus trying to make them feel better. Fortunately, it is quite easy to make someone with HIV or AIDS, or anyone for that matter, to feel better through a massage.
I have always maintained that it is not difficult to at least bring someone some, if not a lot of relief.
And how about those suffering with HIV and AIDS who help others, have responsibilities to others, are the actual pillars of stability in families, emotionally, financially. We've already covered several examples of clients still able to earn a living being asked to help grown children financially.
Massage #19
Male anglo, 50'ish. Here's one of those examples. A guy from here who actually was "making it" in New York. We're always proud of anyone from here who can go off to the "big city", whether it's acting in Hollywood, running a major company, or in this case, being successful in the fashion biz, "seventh avenue" as we used to say in New York City. This man was a designer, ascending to the highest ranks of the business before his specialty began to be out-sourced overseas. But even getting there exacts a cost on you. Sure he was having fun, but it was expensive, in all ways. One of the costs was contracting AIDS. But good things happened to him too.
Luck had it that he was living in a building in a fast-changing part of Manhattan and had the opportunity to participate in the conversion of the building to a coop. Financially, this represented a windfall for his wallet and he was abler to pay off all his debts and have some left over. His body, on the other hand, has not fared as well: a myriad of heart-related ailments and problems as well as spinal problems among others. So, back in San Antonio, helping his aging mother, and trying to control two adult brothers who still live with the mother -- one, schizophrenic, the other bipolar. How do elderly parents end up in these situations?
And here comes the gay prodigal son with AIDS returning from a life of some glamour, some success and some debauchery to help keep things in order??? This might challenge the logic of some, but in actuality, it is true. One might think, he should be returning to the safety and comfort and absence of judgment from the people who might love him the most (not in all families, mind you). But in this case, he returns, to help.
Massage #20
Male anglo, 30'ish. My second trans-gendered client, not sure to what extent, but goes by a female name. Yeah, it still makes me feel a little weird. S(he) tried to make the point to me, without using words, that she is a woman, or at least certain parts. I covered her up better with the top-sheet to end that exercise. No problem. It just goes to show once again that there is no limit to the potential for naughtiness with some of these clients. Their pasts have gotten them into trouble, and it's clear that it's part of their personalities still. She was not scheduled for a massage but spends a lot of time here and was in the right place at the right time when we had a cancellation for my scheduled client.
This client has lived in several different areas of the country, seemingly just being a girl who wanted to have fun, had too much fun, and now returned here to work as a certified nursing assistant though I see her around the facility for breakfast and lunch most days I am there leaving me to think that she is not working much at all although she seems more than able physically. She says she prefers working in nursing homes. I think she is dealing drugs and this place is an excellent location to cultivate customers, and probably suppliers. She wouldn't be the first.
But, this client is a very pleasant person. Always a smile, dressed fashionably.
As for the massage, she had a lot of open sores on her legs and arms. This could be due to medications. It's a pretty good warning sign to me. She did not alert me ahead of time, which I understand, but would have been happier to know that before discovering it myself.
So I was careful, kept the client covered, and she was very grateful and pleased afterward.
Massage #21
Anglo male, 50'ish. Here is another matter-of-fact, straight-forward, no-nonsense type guy. Pretty open. No bullshit. No games. No drama, though he told me that he was diagnosed with AIDS ten years ago: "ten years and I'm still alive."
A good example of someone who does not get massages (where is he going to get massages -- funding is scarce to begin with for free massages here) and does not stretch. My real point is about his physical condition and our society's attitude toward caring for our bodies. Many people use their bodies quite a bit, yet are not cognizant of the effects or how to manage the effects that the use of their bodies causes or can cause. Exercise and stretching are key. Exercise alone can exacerbate other problems. I always recommend stretching, yoga, meditation. Especially with the HIV/AIDS population who typically have high levels of stress anyway, these kinds of activities can go a long way toward bolstering the immune system and simply their wellbeing and peace of mind.
No comments:
Post a Comment